One of the Keys to Happiness is to Conquer the Paralyzing Plateau

One of the Keys to Happiness is to Conquer the Paralyzing Plateau

Ever feel happiness and hope after making the decision to make a change, transition or re-creation – only to fall back into the quicksand of your situation?

Do you ever find yourself fired up after a seminar or conference – only to lose all hope and drive after just a few days later?

Ever wake up and want to go back to sleep because you didn’t want to face the day?

Ever utter a positive affirmation - only to feel your stomach seize up and hear the nay-saying nasties start chattering in your head?

Ever wonder in frustration - How do we find the keys to happiness?

Ever feel as if you are so weak or overwhelmed that you imagine your dreams swirling around the sink – slipping down the drain?

Ever feel as if you really are trying to move forward but feel stuck? Don’t you find that it is when we feel stuck that the real fear and doubt seem to move into our heads and take up shop?

Fear, Doubt and Abusive Beliefs usually try to hover close as we summons the courage to make a major change. To admit our true feelings - to realize our real purpose ,which is key to happiness – only to feel thwarted by the insecurities that surface - can be emotionally and physically paralyzing.

The unfortunate truth is that in most cases, our loved ones and friends unintentionally- or maybe intentionally – accentuate these negative feelings. These people likely love you and don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed. It is possible that some people in your environment may be jealous and rather not see you succeed. These people may be made to feel worse about their own lack of ambition or courage. It is easier for the folks around us to accept the same old person we’ve always been. For some people, the key to happiness is to stay cautious and comfortable inside their comfort zone. Change can be scary – unsettling. Why bother? Don’t leave our box…it’s too uncomfortable.

Along our ride toward our dreams and desires, it is natural to hit a plateau. This plateau may cause some people to become doubtful or fearful of ever attaining the desired success. Many people tend to give up at this point in the ride but that is like stopping a project one step short of success. It is similar to giving up just before hitting that vein of gold. The pressure we may feel from the nay-saying nasties in our head and maybe the other less than encouraging people around us can feel overwhelming to fight. But fight through it we must.

Sometimes it feels as if we are fighting ourselves – the whole world or both. But realize that the plateau is actually a sign of growth. It is a plateau in which we can take a breather and evaluate and rededicate.

One example of this plateau-ing is training a horse. We (my Half-Arab mare, Cherish and I) worked endlessly on a riding pattern that required intricate and specific movements to be performed at certain marks in the show-ring. Practice makes perfect but after a while, our progress seemed to slow and become stagnant. That was the time to stop rehearsing the same old pattern and take our trail rides. We would return to our pattern work refreshed and rededicated and the progress would start again.

Another example that many may relate to is dieting and exercising – or training ourselves. Many of my former clients would complain that they were working so hard and not getting the results they wanted. They were often surprised by my recommendation to stop what they were doing and do something else - to change the routine.

Our bodies and our minds need stimulation to improve. The scientific explanations can be found in a book by Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, called Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi is famous for his investigations into what makes an experience genuinely satisfying for human beings. It is a key to happiness. I recommend reading it for those that want to truly understand this insight. A very simple version of it is that human beings are happiest when they are in the state of flow. This state is brought about when we do things that are enjoyable but also challenging. We feel our best when we have to engage our mind as well as possibly our body in our project.

I found it interesting that the research uncovered the fact that people were in flow more so during work than during leisure. Most people say they are happiest away from work but in all actuality that may not really be the case. Ever lie around watching TV and realize you really aren’t any happier or more fulfilled after that form of relaxation. You do not feel rejuvenated and may feel even slightly depressed? The TV watching is just an escape – a zoning out – and may even allow negativity to creep into our heads while we are not being vigilant. Now think about times when you felt great! Have you ever finished a project or even read a book and realized you felt really rejuvenated? This is a perfect example of this concept. When our minds and bodies become bored, we tend to plateau. It depends on how we manage these plateaus as to whether or not we will be successful. There are many tools to help one through these tough times. We may even be aware of many of these tools. But just like the over-weight fitness instructor or health care professional – we may know what to do but just can’t seem to take our own good advice. We can’t seem to walk our own talk.

It can be difficult to do it all on your own. It takes time and concerted, consistent effort to move through the steps toward our goals. We need to realize that a plateau is not a good reason to give up or feel as if we can’t succeed. This is another example of why having your own coach can be critical to your success. Your coach’s mission is to respect, support and move you forward toward the very goals that you seek. We’re here to help you successfully conquer that paralyzing plateau!

Cheers to YOUR SuCCess! ~ Janus Moncur - The Co-Creative Coach™