Critical Success Factor: Building Self-Confidence - Keep Your Head Up and Focus Forward

Building self-confidence is a critical success factor. It has been said that confidence doesn’t come first before we need it. Meaning – we need to use self-confidence to be successful - before we actually possess it. Great, just like the chicken and the egg thing? You need self-confidence to be more successful but being successful makes us feel more self-confident… Take heart!

One of the greatest pieces of advice given to me for building confidence is, “Keeping your head up and focused forward to where you are heading." This advice came from a horse trainer that was giving my horse, Cherish and me English riding lessons. Keeping your head up and focus forward helps your mount stay balanced and helps guide them in the direction you intend to go. It is a critical success factor, otherwise, you can cause the animal to become thrown off or unbalanced which will cause her to stumble. As I looked down at Guin's shoulders or neck, my weight shifted so I would cause her to carry herself on her front quarters so she would be flat and stiff instead of collected and flexible. It was fascinating to me that a horse could feel the subtle shifts in my head movement and posture.

This sensitivity was pointed out by another trainer with my next horse, Guin. He demonstrated that the tiny shifts in weight, squeezes of the leg or slight bumps against Guin’s side was all I needed to help guide her to do my bidding. To illustrate he used the example of a fly landing on a horses side. Horses cannot see directly behind them so that tiny fly landing on her side was not detected by sight but by feel. Horses inevitably shake the fly off by twitching their skin or swishing their tails. It made me realize that the hearty patting on the neck or rump as a form of affection or reward wasn’t so rewarding for my horse. Once I became aware of that less than ideal action I was able to change it to be more appropriate reward. Awareness is the first step in changing anything we do. Thus another critical success factor.

But how do we build self-confidence when we are afraid and run up against obstacles? Fear can be a negative motivator for some, but can be a paralyzer for others. Henry Ford said, “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”

One of the best ways to battle fear is to do what is fearful anyway. Then you won't be so fearful next time. OK… how? Be aware of your fears but keep your focus on the goals! Do not leave a bunch of room for fear to occupy your mind. Whatever we focus on grows so we must learn to push aside our fears and focus on our goals. If you’ve ever been to a harness race, you may have noticed the little black leather squares on either side of the horse’s headgear. Those black square flaps are called blinders and they are used to keep the horse from being distracted or spooked by all the chaos going on around him. Maybe we need a set of our own blinders?

Another example of moving forward through fear and obstacles is illustrated in horse jumping events. The successful jumpers are said to throw their hearts over the fences first. We have learned horses are very sensitive and intuitive so the rider MUST keep her head up and focus forward as well as control any fearful feelings or her horse may not make that successful leap over the barriers. Each successful jump over the obstacles builds self confidence and squelches fear.

I believe these lessons can be transferred into our personal and professional lives. We definitely need to keep our head up and focus forward toward our goals to achieve them. Sometimes we may need to put our blinders on and leap over or plough through our obstacles. It also illustrates that the littlest shifts and adjustments help our balance and effectiveness. And sometimes we need to shake off those pesky little annoyances to continue to work in comfort and efficiency. It seems to be those little things that make all the difference to our success. You will be amazed at how much more self-confident you will feel. And how much closer you will come to your success!

Cheers to YOUR SuCCess! ~ Janus Moncur - The Co-Creative Coach™